After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
