i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
