I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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