omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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