Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
