We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
