So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if only i could text you this smell
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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