I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
