I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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