with your own penis?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
