If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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