I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
