Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
