shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
