so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
3 2 1 whiskey
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
