five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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