and you said cock pushups were impossible
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
