the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
