well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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