how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
