i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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