I just saw a hot homeless man
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
