So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
