i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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