if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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