The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
