mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
