i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize