She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
