What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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