Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
