How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
