i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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