yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
