Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
