yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
