shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize