My room smells like vodka and shame
I looked at my own cervix.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize