Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
