that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
