oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize