my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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