I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
