It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize