that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
