He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
