He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
