This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
