She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
