Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
