I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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