he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
