she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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