so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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