i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
