We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
