with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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