You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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