Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize