erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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