return my video game
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
