That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
