i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
